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Daily Inspiration: Meet Sunshine Pullen

Today we’d like to introduce you to Sunshine Pullen.

Hi Sunshine, we’re thrilled to have a chance to learn your story today. So, before we get into specifics, maybe you can briefly walk us through how you got to where you are today.
Hi, I’m Shy. I am 22 years old. Aries. Diagnosed with ADHD, PTSD, Bipolar-skits, anxiety, depression, and OCD. My story is kind of like a movie that gets better and better to watch but just makes the main character look miserable.

I loved my family so much and I honestly had it all but I chose to give everything up. Everything all started when my parents met. They met in Japan while my dad was stationed there, in the navy and my mom was in Japan for new opportunities in order to be able to give her family in the Philippines a better life. They gave me an amazing first 10 years of my life.

I had everything I could’ve wanted. A stocked pantry, a nice clean home, birthday money and gifts, all the designers I could want, nice clothes, vacations, and just anything that could be bought with money, I had. My dad was a very successful man living the American dream and my mom made something of herself out of nothing but hope. My parents are amazing and I wouldn’t be where I’m at without all the assistance they’ve offered me throughout my life. All my parents wanted was to give me and my siblings the lives that they didn’t get as a child and I couldn’t appreciate that more. I just wish I didn’t take it for granted.

I started going to school at Ascension once I was old enough and almost immediately didn’t fit it. I was singled out, bullied, and never got invited to anything. All I wanted was friends but I was “too different” or “too weird” to fit in. That was pre-k to around 1st grade. I started getting in trouble every day at 1st. I didn’t want to do anything or participate in school events. Could you blame me though? Everyone had their groups and I was working on group projects alone. I ended up getting invited to my first birthday party at this girl’s house. She invited me personally but when I got there I realized why.

They made fun of me the whole sleepover and even said I get the last piece of cake. Doesn’t seem all that bad but in 1st grade, things like that stick. The next year I continued acting out. I had notes sent home every day that year but he didn’t find out until the last week of school. My teacher actually called him and found out I’ve been singing all the notes that got sent home. I met one friend who was new to the school. She switched schools in 4th grade and after she moved away my school parents put me into a public school in 5th grade, hoping that maybe I’d have a better chance at making friends. I met the best friends I’d have throughout my life til now.

My family didn’t like them. They were different. Single parents struggle paycheck to paycheck introduced to addiction at a young age and are constantly locked up with relatives and family issues. I didn’t mind though because they treated me nice and always loved and accepted me. I wouldn’t ever judge anyone anyway at this point, I was judged and left out my entire life until now so I embraced my new friends like they were the most valuable treasure in the world. I was given a kind and generous heart because of everything that was handed to me as a child so I became obsessed with trying to give my friends the life I had whenever they would come over or we’d go out.

Eventually, in 6th grade, I got into drugs. I was 11 years old when I started smoking weed. I was 13 when I started abusing Xanax and psychedelics. After that, I started to experiment with different drugs throughout high school. All I wanted was to fit in and give my friends a better life with me so they could forget about the things they had to deal with every day but I ended up getting used to my money and unconditional love. I got into really hard drugs and got locked up a few times before I had even turned 18.

We all face challenges, but looking back would you describe it as a relatively smooth road?
My life has been the hardest journey for both my family and me. My main struggle was the codependency traits I had picked up over the years. In friendships and relationships, especially after I started high school, I constantly found myself doing everything I possibly could for the friends I loved and cared about. I gave them whatever they wanted.

If I could afford it, they could have it and I never expected anything back. This caused me to get taken advantage of over and over until I realized one day that I was the only one that truly cared for others, became heartless, and started hanging out with gang members and rappers.

I started using the people around me like how my old friends used to use me. I went back and got revenge on my old people and eventually got gifted the name Slime. I realized what I was doing was wrong and decided I didn’t want anyone to ever feel like I did and started to let people use me again. I got into some abusive relationships, got robbed by people I trusted, and again and again, constantly gave unconditional love to people who have never loved anyone before and expected them to give the love I gave back. I found myself constantly feeling alone all the time and just didn’t care what happened to me anymore at that point.

I was addicted to drugs, doing heroin and fentanyl every day, broke, living out of my car off and on with a broken relationship with my family, the only people who have ever truly loved me. I started selling drugs at a young age, bailing my friends out, and taking charges for other people thinking that maybe they’d love me after I could prove that I was down for them. I was a ride or die for everyone that came into my life and rode for them until they didn’t want me anymore, even when they were constantly taking advantage of me and making me feel worthless.

My biggest challenge through everything was definitely fixing and maintaining my relationship with my family but overall, the long trials I had to get through and drug addiction made things a lot harder.

Alright, so let’s switch gears a bit and talk business. What should we know about your work?
I don’t exactly work right now. I caught a pretty serious charge in 2020 and it’s been very difficult for me to find work after getting out of prison in January 2022. My main focus right now is finding a job that pays well enough for me to support my family, pay my bills, feed myself, and afford my court fees. I became a stripper for about a month after I got out, desperate for a job and income. I realized it wasn’t for me and have been searching for work that’s more respectful and modest.

All I want now is to make something of myself and make my family proud. It’s been very hard to build their trust back and get them to support me again and I’m not exactly sure when I’ll have that again but once I do, I will never let that go. I owe my dad a lot of money. I’d have to guess that I owe my dad alone well over $100,000 at this point. Not including all the times my other family members have helped me. Right now, I’m most proud of my sobriety and the fact that I’m still able to love and care for others, even after everything the ‘people I chose to love in my life did to me.

Over the years I’ve developed a bad habit of judging people really hard of a first impression but I’m still able to genuinely accept and love people for who they are and give them chances to fix themselves and prove they can be more. My whole mission is to make everybody who hasn’t had the support people really need to believe in themselves by giving them a chance and spreading love in my community. I want to be successful and be able to donate my own hard-earned money to jails, rehabs orphanages, and animal shelters.

What sets me apart from others is my ability to forgive people who have done me so wrong, smile through all the hard times, stay positive, love unconditionally, and not let my struggles hold me back or change me for the worst. I love to learn from my mistakes and accept them and let life work itself out. I don’t get revenge anymore or hold resentment because I realized if I focus on myself and making myself a better person, then good people will come into my life. I always believed that the good I put into the world will always find a way back to me but I don’t do anything for the personal reward, I just love to see the happiness and sparkle in people’s eyes when they actually appreciate things I do for them.

I’ve gotten really big into social media the past few years since I was on house arrest for about a year and a half. I want to be able to spread my story so people in my situation can hear it and realize their mistakes before it’s too late. I don’t condone anything I’ve done til this point to get to where I am now and am currently working on myself to ensure that I am able to be a positive influence on others if given the opportunity.

What do you think about happiness?
LOVE. My parent’s house has always been a good reset place for me whenever things get bad in my life and they never fail to make me feel better. As long as I have love, I don’t need anything.

I think everything genuinely good comes from love and I wouldn’t be able to be who I was without my ability to love others. My best friendships were made out of love and acceptance and the love others have shown me is the main reason I believe in myself and am still able to go strong.

Contact Info:

Image Credits
Thomas Pullen, Tess Pullen, Princess Pullen, Sunshine Pullen, Summer Pullen, and Precious Pullen Markia

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