Today we’d like to introduce you to Jillayna Adamson
Hi Jillayna, we’re thrilled to have a chance to learn your story today. So, before we get into specifics, maybe you can briefly walk us through how you got to where you are today?
Hi! My name is Jillayna (said Jill-anna, just spelled super weird! It rhymes with Banana. The ‘Y’ really throws people off!)
I am a psychotherapist with a background in psychology and cultural anthropology. I have always had a big culture-oriented lens within my psychotherapy work, both western-impact focused and cross-culturally. Because of that, I have a bit of a dynamic practice with a few different specialties. So my days can look quite different– which I love! I specialize in trauma, maternal mental health, women’s and LGBTQIA issues, teens and depression as well as cross-cultural mental health. I am certified in EMDR (Eye-Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing). I have a private practice, and some partnerships with different nonprofits and organizations. My office is in Maplewood, but I am often all over St. Louis and St. Charles in different locations.
I am originally from Canada, though I moved to St. Louis as a child and went back up to Canada as a teenager, which is where I went to university. My partner and I ended up back in St. Louis a few years ago and have been between here and Florida, where I’m also licensed.
As a kid, I had quite a bit of anxiety– though, nobody used that word until my teen years. Even in the 90’s there was much less verbiage and awareness on mental health. I’ve always been an over-thinker, analyzer, a reader, very existential, sensitive and people-focused–I got ‘old soul’ as a kid a lot– and not always for the best! For the most part, I think I have learned to use these parts of myself for good, rather than my own demise or total insanity. But in my teen years, these traits likely contributed to a lot of struggles with my mental health. (OR, did my already existent mental states contribute to the development of these traits? Yeesh! These fun puzzles are the stuff of my passing thoughts! Too much?) Such as to say, the fact that I became a psychotherapist is not a shocker.
Mental health is where my heart is, and my specialties are pretty directly linked to my own experiences and who I am as a person. As a teenager, I struggled with severe depression and anxiety. My experiences being suicidal in that time period really lead to my desire to get in there and work with teens because I do get it. I can relate, right down in my bones, and I share this with my teenagers– which they often appreciate. I do want them to see and believe that they can get better, that they will come through horrible, dark times. My social anxiety was so bad in middle and high school that I had specific rooms I hid in, and often couldn’t even go down to the cafeteria. I would throw up at school from nerves, and if I was supposed to talk in class, I was much more likely to take a zero. I was on various medications and saw numerous therapists and psychiatrists, but we really struggled to iron it all out. It is its own little miracle that I survived high school, and that certainly informs my life and practice today. I don’t struggle in this way anymore, but it took a lot of years of work and therapy, and some Buddhism! I love my teens– I work with the MOST amazing kids– and have a pretty open and eclectic style with them. We do a lot of therapeutic arts and projects, and I love running groups as well (and I offer onsite groups!). I am pretty shameless and silly and most of them are used to therapy having some quirks. And Dr. Pepper. I don’t want therapy and group therapy to be scary or something one dreads. Wellness practice can be dynamic and fun.
Suicide in teens is a specialty area of mine that I am constantly working to grow my knowledge with the most recent research, as well as educate about it. As everyone knows, the rates for suicide in young people is only increasing and it’s still the second leading cause of death in the US. STILL! After so many mental health efforts and de-stigmatizing! Post-Covid times, and with some of the socio-cultural changes of technology and social media, these stats are only getting more grim. I have specific ways I operate with my teens, which includes regular texting and check- ins, as well as therapeutic-oriented outings. I really try to work with families and schools in understanding and support as well– we need everyone on board! I have a couple suicide talks I offer and on-site groups– because I could go on all day about this!
I have done work with refugees, both volunteer and on a clinical level, since 2015. I am currently on the Board of Welcome Neighbor, as well as a volunteer with them and I also partner with Monarch International. A few years ago, through Welcome Neighbor, I started a mothers’ therapy group for refugee moms, which I am very passionate about. This group has been a labor of love and happens because of amazing volunteer drivers and family partners for our refugees. I started and ran this group pro-bono a couple years ago and more recently am able to continue running the group with a grant. These women are incredible and have been through so much. The bonds, support and empowerment that has blossomed from these groups is so beautiful. We currently need volunteers and family partners for Welcome Neighbor– these amazing families will need all the support they can get, especially in this political climate. Currently, so many of these programs are at risk of losing their federal grants and funding, which is heartbreaking, so Welcome Neighbor is in need of donations as well.
Maternal mental health, post-partum wellness and issues women and queer individuals face is my other big passion piece. I try to offer low-cost and approachable therapeutic groups for moms because they are so needed. Especially for mamas with little guys at home. It is such an isolating and difficult, totally life-changing time for women that we historically have spoken so little about. My oldest will be 12 this year, and the launch into motherhood all those years ago led me down the path to better understand these mental health changes on a clinical level. Then, there was even less open discussion of the difficulties of motherhood. The brain and body undergo SO MUCH when you have a baby, and life changes so much when you have a child (regardless of giving birth). I work with a lot of birth-trauma, postpartum depression and anxiety, loneliness and oh so much mom guilt! In general I really work to empower women in the times we are in, in terms of their sense of self, sexuality, identity and ability to take up space. Women are so incredible and have carried so much. As a culture we have a long way to go in supporting women and mothers– I am here for this revolution! For quite a few of them, actually. Women, for queer people, for refugees and immigrants. There’s a lot of room for love and change.
I’ve got a great, really supportive partner and two kiddos and a whole lot going on, so times are busy! I also do a lot of writing, primarily about the topics above, but I also write personal essays. So I will occasionally have something published here or there. Last year, my work was published in a book about Motherhood and Feminism by a Canadian press on a number of interviews I did with mothers discussing artistry and motherhood. I have an entire teen workbook I’ve written about being a teenager and coping with depression and suicidal thoughts. I am always working on writing projects and qualitative research and I love all things getting to know and understand us all as strange little humans on this floating rock. There is so much I want to learn and do and so little time!
Can you talk to us a bit about the challenges and lessons you’ve learned along the way. Looking back would you say it’s been easy or smooth in retrospect?
Youth wise: My teen years were certainly some of the LEAST smooth of my life, but also set the trajectory and have informed the way I live and parent and work and play. Its why I do what I do! The backdrop of severe depression is a kind of constant informant of my life. I think as humans, keeping ourselves mentally/emotionally well and sane is kind of a constant evolving project that we have to figure out for ourselves. And I am definitely not excluded from that. The being-human thing is hard. Mental illnesses can be humbling in that they really re-frame what we have control over and the ways the externals can really impact our internals despite our efforts or beliefs.
My ability to move back to Canada as a teenager was a huge component of being able to reset myself and get better. I really struggled with some of the culture and materialism as a kid and teenager and had to escape that and get back to myself. I was surprised to later land back in St. Louis in adulthood, but I have a much different foundation and understanding of the city, and of myself. Coming back and getting to know it, and all its little neighborhoods and quirks, has been healing for my younger self. I have a different appreciation of St. Louis and some of the amazing people and causes in the area, and am proud to work toward some of its positive changes.
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Motherhood wise:
I had severe Hyperemesis Gravidarum with both of my pregnancies, and was essentially nonfunctional throughout both of those entire 9 month periods. They were very rough, dark times. This contributed to some significant depression, and then postpartum anxiety that was no joke.
Before having kids, I had no idea how much becoming a mother impacts your identity and sense of self. There truly is no way to wrap your head around it until you’re in it. It was having new eyes, new reactions and feelings, new priorities. I quickly learned how under-supported mothers are, and how quiet the western world is about so many of the mothering experiences. As a pretty open person, this blew my mind. How was no one talking about this stuff? Mothers have so much invisible labor and mental and emotional work they are doing all the time– all of which women have historically not been safe to talk about. It is arguably one of the biggest transformations a person undergoes–physically (body AND brain!), psychologically, mentally–and there is so little dialogue and study about this until more recently. As a feminist, motherhood completely reworked how I see feminism and the patriarchy. The vast residue of patriarchal frameworks is alive and well in so many nooks and crannies of motherhood, and we are all still walking around in it somehow. Motherhood was one of the big things that brought this to my awareness. Change is starting to unfold, but its slow moving. There is so much mothers need to say, and to hear. There is so much community that needs to continue to build and rebuild with us, as we have been so divided and isolated and socialized against one another. This is a big part of my work as a psychotherapist and writer and human in general. Mothers experience so much shame and guilt, and understanding this as systemic as well is vital in our ability to finally start to take care of ourselves.
After my son was born I did a breastfeeding photo-series with a number of mothers who wanted to talk about their postpartum and breastfeeding experiences. I talked about my own experiences as well and really wanted to break down some of the shame and quietness on the topic. This was a challenge toward stigma reduction through open dialogue and photos and it was published in Huffington Post. That, and a few other motherhood oriented essays I have written have really resonated with moms and the loneliness of some of these experiences. So I hope to keep normalizing and being unafraid to put myself (or my nipples) out there and talk about the hard things. Not everyone loves that, of course! There is always some resistance, or some opposition to people taking up space the way they are. So I am always going to be putting things out there that own that space, and trying to make the space and safety for others to as well.
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Business-wise
I have a few different areas of passion, and it can feel tricky balancing it all, as well as the ways in which it is my work. I’m very passionate about my work with non-profits, as well as my pro-bono work. I really do want therapy and mental wellness supports to be accessible to those that need it. I also want it to be more easily, and even casually, and in fun ways, accessed. While I have my own business, “business” is not at the forefront of my brain. All of that has been a learning curve and tends to go against my empathic instincts. The way I live and my work are very much entwined, and I can’t say I really ‘clock out’.
Thanks for sharing that. So, maybe next you can tell us a bit more about your work?
I would say my professional life is both my psychotherapy business, and I also operate as a creative. I am a writer and photographer, and these passions are big parts of the ways in which I bring art and expression into therapy. That said, they also stand alone and exist outside of my psychotherapy work.
Part of my earlier areas of study in cross-cultural wellness focused on countries of African-origin and what the west can learn about some of their approaches to life, wellness and parenting. I grew particularly interested in and fond of Haiti and zeroed in on better understanding communities there and the country as whole. I have spent quite a bit of time there now over the past 15 years, mostly in impoverished areas, and remain involved in a particular rural community that is very close to my heart. I first started out wanting to volunteer where I could, to get to know communities, stay with locals, and assess (actual) needs and ways to be a supporter with my background, if possible. And I pretty quickly fell in love. I have been humbled to learn so much about life and myself from those I consider my Haitian family. I continue to support a few kiddos through school, a feeding program that helps elders as well as infants, as well as a couple of orphanages. Haiti is very complex, and its a lot to grasp the culture and the history, as well as some of the ways westerners have impacted it– not always for the best.
My cross-cultural work and study is a big component of my lens for life. I really value this, as well as the privileges I have to be able to be an advocate in various areas. I am down-to-earth and a little weird and love to bring all kinds of creative things to therapy and groups that invite people to be themselves, but also expand their comfort zones. My flaws and mistakes and struggles certainly tag alongside me, and and I’m pretty open and myself about life’s hard things. Parenting, aging, work. I can never shy away from humor when it fits because the ridiculousness never ends. I have to laugh at myself. Did your therapist just drive away with her mug of coffee on the roof of her car? Yes. Did she do it again the next day? Also yes.
Before we let you go, we’ve got to ask if you have any advice for those who are just starting out?
I think a lot of important advice comes back to actually applying the things we hear a lot. Humans have obtained so much wisdom across time and cultures, and I think it gets watered down and forgotten. Figure out who you are, and what you want and love, and go with that. Do the work on yourself, however you are able to. Be you, and find what works for you specifically–even if it isn’t what works for other people you know. And, for the love– do the work to find your people and your community. A lot of the things we think make us weird or less-than are things other people can relate to. Getting comfortable enough with yourself to use this as a connector as opposed to a source of shame is huge. Allow yourself to be brave and take some chances doing this human thing. I think this applies in many ways– to teens, to work, to motherhood, to living.
And with that, allow for the ebbs and flows of your feelings, states and capabilities. Not every day is our best, most capable day, and we can be pretty quick to apply an entire negative belief about ourselves or our lives because of it.
Contact Info:
- Website: https://www.brighttribetherapy.com
- Instagram: @brighttribetherapy
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/JillaynaTherapy/
- Other: https://jillayna-adamson.medium.com/
