Today we’d like to introduce you to Robin Pagano
Hi Robin, we’d love for you to start by introducing yourself.
I grew up in St. Louis County as the oldest of four. I was a pretty shy kid. You could only peel me away from my mom if you distracted me with a coloring page, in-fact coloring and doodling became my main pass time. I started at the public elementary school but was homeschooled in middle school. I attended Day Spring homeschool co-op where I went to class with other students twice a week and worked at home the other three. Working at my own pace was great for me. However, I often took longer to finish my schoolwork than my younger sister. After middle school, my parents decided it was best for me to attend the local public high school. I was used to a small group of people and was switching to Parkway South, a school with over two thousand students.
To say I was anxious was an understatement. But as the oldest in the family, I had to be the first to try everything. I was so nervous at the beginning of each semester that I could manage for breakfast was a glass of orange juice. Now this isn’t going to be a story about the tortured art student that sucked at school but lived through art. School was still hard. Algebra was like pushing a boulder uphill, but I pushed that boulder as hard as I could. I loved my English and Spanish classes, but I always hit a wall when it came to spelling and grammar. It didn’t help that I had a math wiz for a dad and an English teacher for a mom. I got pretty average to good grades, but I had to fight for all of them. The only place I felt truly confident was in my art classes, but anxiety still followed me there too. I overthought every project, procrastinated until I couldn’t, and still had trouble finding the confidence to present my projects to the rest of my class. All of these things sound familiar? It’s called ADHD, and I didn’t realize I had it until years later.
I got my college degree in graphic design from William Woods University. The degree made sense to me because I liked art and working on the computer. Graphic design was both of those things. I knew the only kind of job I wanted was one where I could use my creativity to make new and intriguing works of art that grabbed people’s attention. Also after often “borrowing” my dad’s camera growing up, I was gifted one for high school graduation. That camera would go on to inspire a completely different trajectory for my life than I would have ever guessed.
After college, you get a nine-to-five job and start working. I just went through all the assumed steps you’re supposed to go through. My mom was a teacher, and my Dad worked an office job that he still enjoyed, so it seemed the most practical thing. I thought I needed the consistency of a nine-to-five job and being a full-time artist was not that, though I thought it would be cool. Still, I couldn’t find the confidence in my work and I felt like I had no clue what I was doing. I was not only the first in my immediate family, but the first in my extended family to decide to go into an artistic field, so again, I had to be the first to try something new. Looking back, I think God knew exactly what he was doing, placing me as the first in my family. If I hadn’t needed to push through my anxiety to embrace all of these new and monumental changes in my life, I don’t think I would have had the confidence to eventually go it on my own and become the full time artist my younger self never dreamed I could be.
Don’t get too excited… I worked that nine-to-five job for five years. It was a very technical position based on color analysis, but I was getting to use all the artistic computer programs I had learned to use in college, so I decided this was a good place to start. I was one of maybe five people under the age of fifty in an office of over fifty people. It was also an open office which, as you can expect, was rife with opportunities for distraction. I did learn a lot while I was there, one of the biggest things being that I definitely had ADHD.
About two years into working that office job, my good coworker friend brought his girlfriend to our Christmas party. I swear this ties into my previous point, just hang in there. His girlfriend seemed great and then before I knew it she was trying to set me up with her co-worker friend. I thought this was a terrible idea since I just met this girl and I didn’t think she knew what I was looking for in a guy, but what could it hurt? We decided on a double date a few days later where I met my husband Geno for the first time. Obviously the date went well.
Geno and I started dating in January of 2019. He encouraged me in all my creative passions and, most of all my photography. He also recognized my ADHD as he had it as well. It was so incredibly validating as all of my habits in struggles I had throughout my whole life started to make sense, especially my struggles at work. There I was constantly interrupted and asked to work on something different. Constant emails coming through that I had to address when I was in the middle of a project. My work also had an open office plan with no cubicle walls so there was constant noise and I had zero ability to tune out the people talking around me. The only way I could really focus was if I had my headphones in, but then I wouldn’t be able to hear someone when they came to ask a question. Understanding that I had ADHD made me finally realize that there wasn’t something wrong with me, but it didn’t make dealing with constant interruptions and distractions at my work any easier.
Fast forward a year and Geno and were engaged. Two months later the whole world shut down. 2020 sucked for everyone. My version of 2020 sucking involved my being diagnosed with stage three lung cancer at the height of covid and being told at work me and two other guys were going to be printing and shipping all of the New York office’s work on top of the work we already had to do. New York’s office had nine printers…we had three. Oh and if we didn’t accomplish this, the company would lose clients. I lost 20 pounds that summer from lack of time to eat and constant intense stress. I would wake up in the middle of the night and think I was still at work. We all received pay cuts too, so four years later I was back to my starting pay. That year warped that office into a place of panic and fear for my brain and that would never change. The one shining day in that bleak year was when Geno and I got married in my parents’ backyard.
My mom has now been cancer-free for two years and Geno and I will have been married for five years this spring, praise God. After that year I knew I had to leave that job. I applied and applied elsewhere to no avail. I still believed I needed the consistency of that nine-to-five job. Early 2021 the New York office re-opened and things started to get back to normal. The anxiety and panic never went away though. Thankfully in March, I got hit by the latest round of lay-offs and I walked out of that panic-inducing building for the last time ever.
It felt like free fall, being out of a job with no seeming next step in front of me. But I knew this was my opportunity. I was going to back control of my life and be my own boss. This was my opportunity I was taking it! With no structure in my life, I struggled with direction. I didn’t know where to start. I made a lot of mistakes and I still had so much internalized anxiety from my old job.
That was when I got asked to come back and lead the photography department at Kids Of Victory camp, KOV for short. KOV was where I had spent a chunk of my summer every year of life up until I started at my office job. It’s where I discovered my love of photography and my skill for catching and preserving special moments. It’s an extremely high-energy Christian day camp held in July that consists of six different teams and a week-long intense competition. Each team is named after a Veggie Tales character and consists of kids first through fifth grade and is led by teens in grades sixth through Senior in High School. It’s a place of extreme fun where kids get to experience God’s extreme love and kids just get to be kids. In a society where children grow up too fast, KOV is unique and is a source of joy for so many. My mom’s friend ran the photography department there and I worked closely with her for a couple of summers as a college intern. The summer after I lost my job she tore her ACL and knew she needed someone to step in for her and I was available. She said I was the only person she trusted to take over the department she started twenty years ago.
Being back at KOV was like a mental reset. I rediscovered my love of photography and slowly but surely emerged from the bitter, angry, and anxiety riddled person I had become. I knew God had given me my skill and passion for photography and that I needed to be using it. From that Summer on I was determined that I would find a way to make photography my job and I have returned to KOV every summer since to capture more core memories.
Could I have tried to strike out on my own earlier? Probably, but I didn’t and I have learned so much and gained so much through all the trial and tribulation. I was now 100% determined, which you need to start a business. It wasn’t perfect as I had no idea how to market myself and how much to charge for anything. I struggled a lot but my sweet Husband Geno never let me give up and I realized making mistakes and figuring out what not to do was also part of the process. I dealt with really bad imposter syndrome due to ADHD and a lack of business knowledge, but I fought it hard. Three years later and my business still isn’t perfect, but I’ve had my busiest year ever have zero anxiety or qualms over promoting myself to perfect strangers. I also picked up a part-time serving job at Dewey’s Pizza which, outside of KOV, has been the most fun and supportive work place I have ever been in. That job added needed structure and stability in my life while also allowing me time off to still work at KOV each summer. I still have much to learn about running a business but I’m not afraid of it anymore.
I think High School Robin would be shocked and awed if she could see me now. It’s why I love telling this story. I do apologize if it was a little long. Now If you find an office job that has a supportive and positive work culture that works for your life, go for it! I just know so many that stay in their lifeless job because they’re afraid to take the risk. I’m here to encourage others to take that risk, and take it at whatever pace you need to. You can start with the smallest baby steps, just start! You may be forced into being brave like I was, but you’ll still have to be brave and believe in yourself even when you don’t want to. I hope and pray my story can inspire others. It is one hundred percent worth it and I am so thankful that God brought to this place in my life with my camera in one hand and self confidence in the other.
Thank you Voyage STL for reaching out to me! I am truly flattered.
I’m sure it wasn’t obstacle-free, but would you say the journey has been fairly smooth so far?
I will try not to repeat too much since my story was longer.
I think a lot of my struggles stemmed from not understanding how my brain worked. I was a very fidgety kid but that showed mostly through constant doodling in class. I did well enough in school that my parents didn’t really see anything wrong. By the point that my ADHD traits started really showing, my brothers were starting to struggle more and needed most of my parents’ focus. I don’t blame them for not noticing. My Dad was never diagnosed and my second youngest brother showed the classic inattentive in-class type signs of ADHD so I understand and don’t blame them for not seeing it in me.
ADHD paralysis was definitely a big one when it came to trying to decide what my next step in my business was. I had always had somebody else telling me what to work on next and making all the decisions myself was overwhelming in the beginning.
Imposter syndrome was also a big one. It took forever to just say, “I have my own business” instead of, “I am trying to start a business.” My husband Geno had to remind me over and over again how good of a photographer I was. With every client, my confidence and determination to fight the imposter syndrome grew.
Distraction is a big one. Even now I had to lock myself in a room just to finish writing this interview because my sweet supportive husband keeps talking to me even though I told him I needed to focus. But this is what happens when you marry someone who also has ADHD. Even now my brain is telling me it would be more fun to learn how to bake focaccia bread instead of finishing this interview which makes no sense because I was so beyond flattered and honored that you all reached out to me. I’m also very curious how you all found me.
I think my biggest deterrent to these obstacles has been, number one, my faith in God and myself. Second, the support of my husband and my family on my side and his side as well. Third, learning how my brain works. I knew I wouldn’t be able to sit down and knock out this interview if my living room was still a mess after the holidays, so yesterday I spent the day cleaning and putting my home back together to the point where my brain could relax when I looked around my home and I could focus on this interview with minimal distraction. So many ways I was taught to study or get difficult tasks done were so counter to how my brain worked so once I learned that I was able to become truly productive. It still have my bad moments, but I can recognize them now and now how to get out of them.
As you know, we’re big fans of you and your work. For our readers who might not be as familiar what can you tell them about what you do?
I have a skill for catching truly organic and candid moments of people that become memories frozen for them to keep for a lifetime. I’m awkward in front of a camera so I know how awkward posing can feel and I want your true self and your personality to come through my camera and that won’t happen through awkward posing. I try my best to give my subjects prompts or movements to do as opposed to poses to make them more comfortable moving in front of the camera. I’m also always prepared with a plethora of cheesy jokes guaranteed to make you laugh or maybe wince. Either way I’m sure to get a natural smile in there somewhere. I always say, “Awkward laughter is still laughter and it looks natural in a picture.”
Right now my photography consists of a lot of families, engagements, senior photos, and occasionally some weddings. I would say I really specialize in candid event photography, however, I bring that approach to all of my photoshoots and I think it makes my photos and my point-of-view unique.
What I am most proud of artistically is my work at KOV. KOV consists of four week-long sessions each summer, well now five since we added one more week for summer 2025. Each week has the same structure, lessons, and games, but with a new batch of people. Campers are only allowed to sign up for one week to give space for other campers. Leaders, however, are allowed to sign up for two or three weeks. In our current American culture, there isn’t much expected of teenagers, But at KOV we set high expectations, and nine times out of ten, they rise to them. We give them a high level of responsibility in leading their campers. Of course, everything is monitored by our core team and other adult volunteers. Because of this though the weight of the responsibility of their campers makes the teen leaders feel so important and then when they engage and build a relationship with their campers, those kids feel incredibly important and special in return. It is such a beautiful process that I am so incredibly blessed to be able to photograph every summer.
At the end of each week, after they announce the winning team, they have a pizza party for the teens that becomes an open mic night for people to tell stories from the week. The amount of tears that are shed over the stories of the life-changing impact this camp has had on so many has me tearing up just thinking about it. I could tell so many stories but I’ll just two. There was a little boy, maybe just around third grade, who had been a challenge from the beginning of his week. Not wanting to participate and pushing every boundary he could. At some point, he revealed to one of his leaders that he had wanted to end his life. That leader of course immediately brought this to the attention of our core team and we did talk to his mom later after checkout. She said that we were the only camp her son had not gotten kicked out of. No words could describe the smile on that leader’s face when he saw that little boy return the next summer. Now this kid still had some struggles, but there was a huge change from that previous summer. The second story is about a teen boy leader who himself will say he was one of the “bad kids”. He could be nasty, overly competitive, and darn right rude. One summer, he had still started out this way, but part way through the summer, we started to see a change. The nastiness started to fade away as he started to truly invest in his campers. Where there was once a scowl there was now a smile and and lightness to him. God had really worked through KOV to change his heart and we all could see it. The next summer he started off as one of our best leaders and said on the microphone through tears that he didn’t know what path he would be going down if it weren’t for KOV. There are so many more stories I could tell but I will stop there.
So when I’m taking pictures at KOV I’m not just an opportunity for cute pictures of kids, it’s an opportunity life changing memories for kids and teens alike that they get to keep and look back on for the rest of their lives. Now for the security of our campers and teens I can only share photos online that I have express permission from parents to share. So I may not be able to share some of my favorite pictures ever with the whole world, but I get to share them with the people that need them and that is enough for me.
Networking and finding a mentor can have such a positive impact on one’s life and career. Any advice?
I was surprised by how many people I had in my life who knew about photography or starting a business. If you just keep talking about you will be surprised by how many people want to help. You just have to get past the fear of putting yourself out there.
I have one or two other friends that had started their own business on the side and I found it valuable to go and sit next to them and swap knowledge and ideas. your own business is so much less intimidating if you have someone else beside you from time to time.
I think finding a mentor can be incredibly helpful. My friend who started the KOV photography department was like a mentor to me. I found that advice on the business and marketing end of things was what I needed though because it was my area of least confidence. So even if your mentor isn’t in your field per se, find somebody who is strong in your weak points so you can strengthen every aspect of your business.
Pricing:
- A majority of my photoshoots are $300 dollars each
- All of my pricing is included on my website
- https://www.robinpaganophotography.com/
Contact Info:
- Website: https://www.robinpaganophotography.com/
- Instagram: @robinpaganophoto
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/RobinPaganoPhotography
- LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/robin-pagano/
