Today we’d like to introduce you to Alexis Duehren.
Hi Alexis, so excited to have you on the platform. So, before we get into questions about your work-life, maybe you can bring our readers up to speed on your story and how you got to where you are today?
Thank you so much, I’m honored for the opportunity. I must thank Voyage STL for this welcoming platform to share stories. What a gift to have a place to do that. So, thank you!
I am Alexis Duehren, forever an Air Force veteran and parent-entrepreneur, now a business coach, and always a work-in-progress. I grew up along the Mississippi River born in La Crosse, WI, raised in Hannibal, MO, and settled in St. Louis. You could say I was a River Rat. And like a river current, I always felt like I was being pulled along, and towards something bigger than myself. Aside from the draw of the river and the rich history of Mark Twain, I did what any bored kid in Hannibal did; went to a lot of bonfire parties, cruised “the strip”, got into mischief, but still managed to do well in school. If you wanted to play sports, you had to maintain good grades (and I wanted to play sports). My mom was my biggest fan. I don’t remember her missing one single track meet, and she sewed every medal on my letterman jacket until it was too heavy to wear. Although I did get a track scholarship, it didn’t get me into college. As it turned out, not many Engineers were much into athletics, much less track.
So yes, I felt the pull to push myself, and with parental influence, I decided to go to college for Engineering. As a female, I wanted an edge and looking back, I think I also wanted to shake a little ground. So, after graduating (barely) in Civil Engineering from the University of MO- Rolla, now Missouri S & T (where I met my husband), and not long after 9-11, I felt the pull to join the Air Force, so I did. (Here we go again). I went “all in” as an officer and leader in Air Force Civil Engineering. Like a kid, I clung to our core values of “Service before Self”, “Integrity First” and “Excellence in all we do”. I managed billions of dollars in base and runway assets and construction, deployed to Iraq, traveled around a lot, and even had the honor to train with Navy Seals. No experience was enough, however, to prepare me for what was to come.
So, let’s fast forward. Over 10 years the Air Force took me from college to Officer Training School (OTS), to Scott Air Force Base, to Baghdad, back to Scott, and finally landing us in Las Vegas. My husband and I celebrated our first wedding anniversary in TLFs (temporary living facilities), in a tiny dorm-like room with a bed and a mini fridge, while we waited for housing in the suburbs of the Las Vegas Strip. We eventually found a house, settled into our overzealous work schedules, had two kids and loved being parents. Aside from physically not feeling my best (I was postpartum after all), life felt busy, fun, and exciting. Then on Nov 6, 2012, one phone call flipped everything on its head.
We were standing in line to vote when my dad called from Missouri to tell us he had an aggressive form of prostate cancer. By the next year, I left the Air Force, my husband went back to his previous employer, and our family of 4 moved back to MO to be closer to Dad and the rest of our family. In a blink, I went from Air Force Civil Engineer (with Top-Secret Clearance), to, what I love to call, “Domestic Engineer”, because “Stay-At-Home-Mom” just doesn’t give credit where credit is due, if you know what I mean.
In November 2018, after six years of ups and downs and treasured memories, my dad died. In a moment, I felt like I lost my guiding light. My dad was the one who delivered me when I was born. My mom carried me, and he literally brought me into the world. He was the one watery eyed in the stands at my college graduation (lol, while I’m just praying that I did, in fact, graduate). As an Air Force veteran himself, he was the one who gave me my first salute at my officer commencement ceremony. He was 67 when he died. I think we all kind of felt like he had finally found his “happy place”. It felt unfair, in so many ways, and was the toughest of blows for the whole family.
I’m sure you wouldn’t say it’s been obstacle free, but so far would you say the journey has been a smooth road?
Nope, not smooth at all. A journey never is right?
At the same time my dad’s health was declining, I was having one hell of a time with my own and it started taking over, coming out through my skin in hives and severe eczema. My body felt as if it was in a constant state of reacting to, what felt like, everything. I couldn’t sleep, I couldn’t eat. It felt like I couldn’t do anything “normal” without consequences. I had no idea what was happening to me, and I didn’t have the time or energy to address it. I got through the worst, got help, eliminated certain foods, and my symptoms eased up, almost enough to manage.
By this time, we had 2 more children, and I was still at home. Now a family of 6, I was feeling where I needed to be but overcome with loss in more ways than I realized. I felt like I was behind the wheel of my own personal struggle bus, and just needed to keep driving. Then, hearing Dad’s words “What are you waiting for?” stirred something in me and later that year, I made my push. I was going back to school to get a Master of Business Administration degree. While he inspired me to make the move, I was doing this one for me. So, at age 41, I finally put my Air Force benefits to use, and in December of 2021, I graduated (this time with all A’s) from the University of Wisconsin MBA Consortium with an emphasis in Entrepreneurship.
Today, with our youngest in school, life at home has completely changed as I transition from full-time mom to full-time mom (wink) and business owner. Given my husband’s stable base and his full support, after finishing my MBA, I started side hustles in e-commerce and property investment, founded a mastermind group called Women’s Core Collective (alongside another trailblazing mompreneur @amandabrandtrealtor), and am now offering one-on-one coaching.
Feeling well enough is still a daily challenge as I’m forced to come face-to-face with chronic illness. I was recently diagnosed with Mold Biotoxin Illness, which basically means my body isn’t tagging mold and other toxins as “bad”, so they get to hang out and accumulate in the body and make it sick and sensitive. As it goes on, with bad days and good, it still gets the best of not only me, but anyone close to me. They have had to adjust to my limits, and all the ups and downs, especially my husband and kids. Going back to work in an office not only feels wrong for me, it feels impossible.
Thanks for sharing that. So, maybe next you can tell us a bit more about your business?
Having kids, a parent with cancer, school, side-hustles, and feeling chronically sick and slow, meant having to learn quickly how to counterbalance everything; the sick with the well, quiet with chaos, fatigue with fun, and housework with rest. What my husband and I found most tricky of all, was balancing our kid’s needs with our own. For me specifically, having to get dialed so far into how I am using my time and energy, and prioritizing rest, has changed everything. There were times when it felt hopeless to me though, and I know I’m not the only one.
Solaced LLC was created in the name of discovering solace in our everyday lives, especially given the demands and struggles we see in the world today. We understand the importance of a nurturing environment. We know the value and beauty in what we can see and touch, and in what we can’t. We have a simple mission to provide tangible products alongside transformational experiences to parents, as we try to balance the work we love, with a life we want to be present for. From this need, my desire for coaching was born.
Through engineering, parenting, health crises, and entrepreneurship, I’ve become obsessed with finding solutions. I’m also an empath (a blessing and a curse). This combination led me to start Alexis C. Duehren coaching, with a strong desire to put my strengths to good use for others. As a coach, I help parent-entrepreneurs problem-solve, simplify, and move forward with intention so they can reignite their business, stay present, and ditch the negative-stress environment for good. My skill is making connections and using a broad view to form solutions, because we don’t live in a black and white world. We live in complexity and color. I offer different ideas, aligned with the stage your business is in, your specific needs and unique situations to help get to the root of your funk and frustration. From the root (and from the heart too), is where it all starts to make sense.
I am most proud of the Women’s Core Collective, our group of mompreneurs we formed last year. Between growing new clients, expanding to new markets, getting published, landing big events, and starting podcasts this group of women are killing it! They inspire me so much and I’ve learned as much from them as they have from me (probably more). They have given me more energy than I could possibly conjure up on my own. Couple that with the accountability partnerships and you get the secret weapon (shhhh) that comes with teaming up and having a coach or mentor. When you have relationships, that by their very purpose are to hold yourself accountable, results follow.
So next time you feel a pull or a nudge, don’t dismiss it. Take the next step. Do it for you, for your business, and for the good of your kids. If you would like to work with me, my signature 4-month private coaching program is coming soon. However, you can book a free call now to learn more and to be put on the waitlist to lock in pricing. If you are just ready to move, don’t lose momentum! Book a private coaching call with me where I give quick audits, direction, and a plan on a singular pressing issue. It can be business or work-life-balance related. Let’s invest your time today for what you desire for tomorrow. For that, there is no better time than now!
What sort of changes are you expecting over the next 5-10 years?
For business, I feel like the job market will continue to see demand for flexible work environments and workplace well-being. Limited opportunities or offerings for these deeply valued benefits could continue to steer younger generations, and parents especially, out of the workplace and into self-employment strategies. DIY and self-care culture will stay strong as so many empty nesters, freelancers, entrepreneurs, parents, and younger generations are spending more time at home. With people not able to lean on personal benefits and support from employers, they will continue to look to the marketplace for useful products and services, counselors, therapists, teachers, trainers, healers, and all types of mentors and coaches.
Going forward, as an entrepreneur, I am still learning to be imperfect, to take one step at a time, and to have the awareness to reflect and remember what I’m doing here. It isn’t about what others expect of me or what they think I should be doing. It’s about what I can offer and contribute to the bettering of our world, in the way I can, and to the best of my ability. I know, down to the deepest parts of me, that my body will heal and start firing on all cylinders again. I couldn’t possibly feel more ready for it then I am right now. But your body can only take you so far, you must fully come to know and believe in yourself and then, with that awareness, take mindful, aligned action to stay on the path made for you.
As a parent, even though my kids are all in school now, they are always on my mind. I wonder about how their unique gifts might develop into adulthood and I deeply hope they each come to know and love themselves well. I think about all kids and how families out there are doing. I have the utmost gratitude for caring teachers, coaches, mentors, and healers as these are the ones who not only have cared for us but have an influence on our children outside the home. As a mom and a human, my intention for our kids is to be continually surrounded by a nurturing community of presence, care, and mentorship, while also giving them space for their own discovery. This is my passion and the basis for everything I do. (I’m going to really age myself here) but, as one singer put it, likely the greatest voice of all time, I believe our children are our future.
Contact Info:
- Website: www.alexiscduehren.com
- Instagram: @alexiscduehren
Image Credits
Sarah Bowlin Photography
