Today we’d like to introduce you to Duane “DT” Tolen.
Hi, Duane “DT,” we’re thrilled to have a chance to learn your story today. So, before we get into specifics, maybe you can briefly walk us through how you got to where you are today.
I’ve faced some pretty rough times. I grew up poor; my Dad did not do well as a Father but probably did the best he knew how, so I grew up without any real support from a father figure. Molested by a woman at 6, broke into my 1st home at 7, was in a gang by 11, and selling drugs by the time I was 13. I did great in school; I went into high school at 12, but no real encouragement or examples to inspire me to finish. There’s more, but the feelings I had back then that influenced my decisions, I still feel them as if it was yesterday. I still hurt; I’m still looking for that approval from my Father that will never come. So I decided to start a mentoring program to stand in the gap so young men will not feel hurt, shamed, neglected, and lack support and love that feeds directly into our culture, where the results play out daily on the news.😢
Alright, let’s dig a little deeper into the story – has it been an easy path overall, and if not, what challenges have you had to overcome?
It has been a challenging road. I discovered very early on that the temperature amongst these organizations is frigid and uninviting. They wanted to avoid partnering or inviting others to the table. It’s a monopoly as they all fight for the same funding and for the pride of being able to say “I” rather than “we” meanwhile our boys are dying on the street. I would not let that stop me. So I built my table. I can proudly say that my organization has 11 dedicated men who volunteer their time and give their money to love 40 + Boys. We typically get about 20 each Saturday and teach them about spirituality, self, and community worth and development, how to treat women, de-escalation, hygiene, respect of self and others, gun safety, entrepreneurship, social and emotional learning, what side of the street to walk on, opening doors, hugs galore, fine dining and more!
As you know, we’re big fans of you and your work. For our readers who might need to become more familiar, what can you tell them about what you do?
Mentoring, what sets me apart is I’ve taken my experiences, both good and bad, and used that to identify issues with our young men. It allows me to speak authentically about said situation and talk to them, not at them. I give them a voice and allow them to express themselves the best way they know how and use that to turn it into a relationship of trust and openness that allows me to reach them where they are and bring them to where I need them to be by making them a part of the process. I’m different because I tell them, “I’m there for them,” and prove advising that a main difference between B2M and other organizations is we don’t just operate during business hours. We’re available 24/7 if needed. Our boys can call us when they have an issue. We’re different because there’s no check attached to what we do. We don’t get paid for it. It’s the opposite, we put our money into it out of love, but it comes with the expectation of success.
What matters most to you? Why?
We are changing the narrative of how society sees some of the boys. Many of these kids are grossly neglected, unloved, homeless, and forced into survival situations. Some are even suicidal! As the village, we need to judge less and love more. We are understanding before anyone victimizes that they cried out as a victim themselves. We didn’t listen. Now that does not excuse the behavior, but I feel strongly if we put more focus and funding on the preventive side rather than the reactive side, we’d see a difference.
Pricing:
- Feeding $10 per youth each week
- Field trips – Transportation, Food, admission $500 an outing
- Registration Fee- $109 per child
Contact Info:
- Website:Â B2mentorrs.org
- Email: boys2mentorrs@gmail.com
- Phone: 314 668 4332
- Facebook:Â Boys2Mentorrs – most of our activities are here
Image Credits
Boys2Mentorrs and Duane DT Tolen
