We’re looking forward to introducing you to Lolly Vieira. Check out our conversation below.
Good morning Lolly, we’re so happy to have you here with us and we’d love to explore your story and how you think about life and legacy and so much more. So let’s start with a question we often ask: What do the first 90 minutes of your day look like?
My morning ritual has become a vital part of building the life I want for myself. I used to immediately pick up my phone and hit my vape when I woke up and without fail I’d begin doom scrolling. This would zap my motivation.
These days, when I first open my eyes, I try to sit with conscious awareness. I take the time to enjoy the feel of laying in my bed. Then I take stock of how my body is feeling. Living with a chronic illness means many mornings it’s not a good feeling, so I allow myself to stretch the sore or stiff parts while laying down.
I also try not to start worrying myself yet with everything I’ll have to do for the day and instead try to experience the emotions I want to feel for the day. Usually these are peace, joy, and gratitude. I make myself say out loud three things I’m grateful for ranging from small physical things like my memory foam pillow to grand concepts like the ability to redeem oneself.
Once I have my emotions where I want them, I get out of bed and check on my son who is usually sleeping on my way to the bathroom.
I’ve learned to make this morning trip to the bathroom my sacred place to practice physical self care. I take my morning vitamins and inhaler then drink an entire bottle of water.
Next I wash my face with cold water and apply one of my face serums and a gentle moisturizer.
I then will apply frankincense essential oil to my abdomen as well as Castor oil which helps me with my digestive issues. Then I brush my teeth, floss, and use mouth wash. While I’m brushing my teeth, I like to hum a song which aids in emotional regulation for me and simultaneously do 15 squats while keeping a mental image of a counter in my mind’s eye to keep track of the number of squats because this helps my brain strengthen its ability to parallel process.
Since I tend to keep my hair pretty short, a quick brush through is all that’s usually necessary. And while I’m watching myself brush my hair, I say three “I am” affirmations to help build my self confidence.
Once I leave the bathroom, I head down two flights of stairs to feed my cats their dry food. I used to grumble about having to climb so many stairs in the morning, but lately I’ve been trying to stay present in gratitude for the opportunity to build my physical stamina with stairs.
Then I make myself either a cup of tea or some coffee. If it’s nice out, I’ll sit on our back porch with the cats and either do a guided 5 minute morning meditation or practice what I call senseless imagination which is where I close my eyes and let my mind’s eye create beautiful shifting imagines, usually abstract or sceneries.
Usually my son has woken up by then and if he needs help making his breakfast I help out.
I’ve found that making sure I start my day accepting that I get to choose the day I want to have emotionally has created better days as a byproduct of feeling in control. Setting a slow pace when I first wake up allows me to better handle the rest of my day which is generally pretty fast paced. I never would have believed that a morning ritual could help change my perspective on life, but it truly has.
Can you briefly introduce yourself and share what makes you or your brand unique?
My name is Lolly Vieira. I call my brand Lolly’s Little Lovelies because I offer a variety of services and art ranging from paintings, songs, and poems to animal care, data entry, and even budgeting advice for those with debt. I believe everything I offer is lovely in its own way and I hope to leave any of my customers with their own small piece of loveliness.
I have been running an independent pet care business off and on for years. I have always had a deep connection to animals and learning how to provide them with the best standard of care. I started off on Rover but eventually took the leap to start building my own clientele list and offer additional services as someone who is a certified pet stylist according to international standards. I do pet boarding at my home, offer drop in visits at others’ homes, dog walking, and can provide nail trimming, brushing, de-shed treatments, oral hygiene, and anal gland expression for canines. I specialize in caring for animals with anxiety as well and have spent many hours volunteering with stray animals.
I think part of what sets my brand apart from others is that I don’t force myself to stay beholden to one avenue of business. I have always been a jack of all trades and find myself much happier when I allow myself to learn and grow, even if it doesn’t fall in line with the expectations of others.
I used to also make wire wrapped jewelry in copper or silver wire with fine cut gemstones. I’ve experimented with creating sculptures, graphic design, and even clothing in my journey to build myself as a brand. Giving myself permission to try new things solely based on my passion for them has made it to where my jobs rarely feel like work and instead feel more like a blessing and adventure. Even my failures have been valuable lessons that guide me.
If there’s one thing I’d like people to know about Lolly’s Little Lovelies, it’s that even if I haven’t done something before, I’m willing to give it a try! My goal in every endeavor is to find joy and spread love in the lives of everyone I work with.
Appreciate your sharing that. Let’s talk about your life, growing up and some of topics and learnings around that. What did you believe about yourself as a child that you no longer believe?
Growing up with an abusive mother, I learned from an early age that kindness is not always given. For many years, I believed that cruelty and pain was the default of life and that we had to give it our all to find any semblance of peace in the world. I thought that finding love externally was the ultimate goal, that validation from others would be the thing to heal my soul. However, this belief only left me in a perpetual state of disappointment and fear as looking for these things to remain consistent outside of yourself is an inevitable let down. I believed I was fundamentally broken and only someone else could save me.
After over five years of weekly therapy and a lifetime of trial and error, I’ve come to the realization that I was so very wrong, and I am happy to be wrong about that. I now know that the truth is that the world is simultaneously filled with pain and beauty and that we get to choose what parts of reality fill up the majority of our existence. I’ve also learned that no amount of external validation will fully heal someone. While it can temporarily soothe the pain, what actually helps heal trauma is finding your own internal sense of worth. Life is not me versus you, it’s only ever me versus myself, we will be our biggest obstacles, but that’s not a bad thing. Without challenging our limiting beliefs, it becomes nearly impossible to outgrow them. Accepting that I am the only one in control of my thoughts and actions has created inner motivation to practice discipline and build resilience. And feeling in control has brought a natural sense of peace in my life that truly does not require me to give 110% all the time to achieve it. My bad moments and mistakes are not a permanent reflection of who I am but rather my opportunity for growth and I am grateful for them. I know that I am not broken, but becoming, and I am the only one who can save me. It isn’t easy, but it’s possible.
Was there ever a time you almost gave up?
Honestly, I’ve given up more times than I can count. I used to think that giving up meant I was weak and selfish. But I discovered that allowing yourself to give up sometimes without shame is actually where resilience is grown. Resiliency doesn’t mean you never give up, it means that even when all hope is lost and you see no way through, you eventually get back up and try again. Without hitting those lows, there is no chance to climb back up.
So a lot of these questions go deep, but if you are open to it, we’ve got a few more questions that we’d love to get your take on. Where are smart people getting it totally wrong today?
I think especially in the United States there’s this huge, unnecessary emphasis on individualism rather than collectivism. I found that even I once held the belief that accomplishments meant more if you did them all alone. I think that many of us hold this belief subconsciously without even realizing it and that this is what is holding all of us back.
While, of course, personal achievements are always something to be celebrated, I do not find they hold any more intrinsic worth than the accomplishments of a collective. We only find individual accomplishments more impressive because of the societal concept of individualism. If we are willing to be emotionally and intellectually honest with ourselves, I think we’d have to admit that something like a program feeding millions of people does the same amount of good whether spear headed by a sole proprietor or a group of people.
We’re taught to take pride in doing things the hard way, like it makes our deeds more valuable, but I personally believe that if we choose to work together, we can have an easier time meeting our goals and can possibly achieve even more than if we resign ourselves to having to do it alone.
Success doesn’t need to be achieved alone to be worth something, we don’t have to compete with one another. In fact, I find that achieving success with others can create even more joy as there’s someone else to celebrate with.
Thank you so much for all of your openness so far. Maybe we can close with a future oriented question. What do you understand deeply that most people don’t?
I think many people don’t seem to understand that even their legacy is temporary, nothing is truly forever. There was a time before humans and even the planet, and there will be a time after them as well. Having a goal to be remembered after your death won’t actually serve you because you won’t be around to experience it. I almost find it foolish to make goals for a time beyond your own existence, though of course I admire those with noble causes to aid the future of humanity. But if your personal sense of success rests on the idea that people will know your name when you’re gone, I think you’ll find yourself leaving this life sorely disappointed, or at least never fully satiated. All we truly have is right here and now. Take action towards goals that effect the now, be proud of yourself now, love and care for others now, because the future is not promised and what people say about you when you’re gone is out of your control.
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