Dena DiStefano shared their story and experiences with us recently and you can find our conversation below.
Good morning Dena, it’s such a great way to kick off the day – I think our readers will love hearing your stories, experiences and about how you think about life and work. Let’s jump right in? Have any recent moments made you laugh or feel proud?
My three children are my entire world. Everything I do and work hard for is to not only provide them with the best life possible, but to also show them that anything they set their mind to and work hard for is attainable. This past week, my oldest daughter, who is a senior in high school, had her senior night at her last field hockey game. Walking across the field with her, our arms linked together, along with my two other kids and their father was such a proud moment. She has worked so hard the past four years for everything she has learned and achieved, including stellar grades, leadership positions within clubs and organizations and the discipline and disappointments of being a part of a team. It was such an emotional moment watching her be presented with gifts and accolades from her coaches and teammates, but also one as a mom that filled me with so much pride for the young woman she has become and will continue to become as she heads to college in the fall.
Can you briefly introduce yourself and share what makes you or your brand unique?
Hi! I’m Dena DiStefano, a relationship psychotherapist and founder of Balanced Therapy & Wellness, a private practice in St. Louis, MO. Over the past 20 years, I’ve worked in a variety of clinical settings, helping adolescents and adults navigate life’s challenges—from anxiety and depression to the often-complicated dynamics of relationships and family life.
At my practice, I help adults and couples not just manage challenges, but create stronger, more meaningful connections. What makes my work unique is that I focus beyond “fixing problems”—I guide clients toward clearer communication, healthier patterns, and deeper emotional connection that truly lasts. I’m passionate about helping people step into their best selves while building relationships that feel intentional, balanced, and deeply fulfilling.
Beyond the therapy room, I serve as a Mental Health Professional within the Collaborative Law Association of St. Louis. My role within the organization is a Divorce Family Coach Facilitator. In a collaborative divorce practice, a team of professionals addresses the legal, financial and emotional needs of each party as they navigate the divorce process outside of the court room. I also partner with the New Mom School STL and serve as their visiting expert couples’ therapist.
Appreciate your sharing that. Let’s talk about your life, growing up and some of topics and learnings around that. What part of you has served its purpose and must now be released?
For a long time—probably dating back to my teenage years—I had a mindset that didn’t allow anyone to help me. My inner narrative constantly told me that in order to prove myself, I had to make things happen entirely on my own. As an adolescent, I had a couple of difficult experiences where I was told I wouldn’t amount to anything, and those words deeply affected my self-esteem. For years, that became my “why,” driving me through undergrad, grad school, and the early parts of my career. When I became a parent, my children became my “why,” but I still believed I had to build everything on my own.
When I started building my private practice, I quickly realized the magnitude of the work ahead. Clinically, I was ready—but on the business side, I had a lot to learn. I spent countless days and nights reading, researching, and planning until I felt I had a solid understanding. While I’m proud of the work I put in to launch my practice, my insistence on doing everything myself made the process harder and longer than it needed to be.
Now, I’ve reached a point in my life where I can release the need to prove my worth. Letting go of that has allowed me not only to ask for and accept help when needed but also to connect with an incredible network of people I might never have met otherwise. It’s been transformative—for both my business and my life.
When did you stop hiding your pain and start using it as power?
Life is filled with hard and defining moments, many of which shape who we become—and my life is no exception. I’ve always been a pretty private person, not sharing much of my personal life with others. But raising children and going through a divorce is incredibly challenging. In my practice, I work with many clients navigating co-parenting, relationship challenges, and, as a collaborative coach and divorce facilitator, the divorce process itself.
As a mom, I’ve faced unique challenges. I’ve supported a child with social-emotional issues, navigating IEP processes and school-related obstacles firsthand. My youngest daughter was born drug-exposed and came to us through the foster care system, enduring health challenges early in life. We were finally able to adopt her at 2½ years old, and while she faces some ongoing challenges, she is now a happy, healthy child.
My divorce was amicable, and I’m proud that my ex-husband and I co-parent intentionally and effectively, always putting our children first. Instead of hiding these experiences, I’ve found that sharing them offers support, connection, and real-life perspective to the people I work with. Knowledge is power—but so is hope.
Alright, so if you are open to it, let’s explore some philosophical questions that touch on your values and worldview. What do you believe is true but cannot prove?
I believe that “how you do anything is how you do everything.” This is a mantra I live by, and it plays through my mind multiple times a week. I truly believe it’s true for everyone, though of course, I can’t prove how it applies to other people’s lives.
When I think about what’s most important to me—my children, my partner, my well-being, my career, my relationships with friends and extended family, my peace, and the spaces I spend time in—this philosophy guides every choice I make. My home, office, and car must be clutter-free and organized so that my mind can feel the same. These spaces are my sanctuary after long days or moments of chaos in other areas of life.
I bring that same intentionality to my relationships, scheduling regular family dinners and date nights to ensure we stay connected. It also guides how I care for my health: I wake at 4:30 a.m., check emails over coffee, and head to my 5:30 a.m. workout five days a week. Sundays are reserved for meal prep to remove the guesswork from eating and to plan my Monday sessions with clients and to organize my week and schedule. Over time, this intentional approach has become central to my life, because I know things rarely happen by coincidence. When I operate this way—firing on all cylinders—the sense of accomplishment and clarity is indescribable and keeps me striving for more.
Intentionality is something I talk about a lot in therapy, so it’s vital that I walk the walk in my own life as well.
Okay, so let’s keep going with one more question that means a lot to us: When have you had to bet the company?
As any entrepreneur knows, deciding to leave a stable career with a regular paycheck and great benefits to start your own business is never easy. There’s never a “perfect time,” and no one ever feels completely ready—it comes with fear and anxiety. I was no different.
When I launched Balanced Therapy & Wellness, I was working full-time as a mental health practitioner in a school setting from 7 a.m. to 3 p.m., then heading to my office to see clients until 8 p.m., four nights a week, to build my caseload. Eventually, my evenings weren’t enough to keep up with growing demand. I knew I had a decision to make—but as a divorced single mom of three, this wasn’t just about me. Could I continue to provide for my children without my full-time salary? How would I manage benefits on my own?
When I envisioned my future and the goals I had for my practice, I realized it was time to take the leap. I wanted to show my children that with hard work and belief in yourself, dreams can become reality. So, I bet on myself and my company.
The journey hasn’t been easy or perfect, but I wouldn’t trade the lessons I’ve learned. Today, my practice is thriving, and I feel incredibly proud and honored to come to work every day doing what I love, helping amazing individuals and couples. I often catch myself having “pinch me” moments—reminders of how far taking a risk can take you.
