Today we’d like to introduce you to Amy Miller.
Hi Amy, it’s an honor to have you on the platform. Thanks for taking the time to share your story with us – to start, maybe you can share some of your backstories with our readers?
Being a coach makes perfect sense for me because I have always loved to tell people what to do. Not like, in a bossy or ego-centered way, but from a sincere desire to help them do, be, and feel better. One of my superpowers is to quickly “see” someone and know what they need to hear in order to fix or change something. I always knew that I could motivate people to look at things differently or change their thinking, and I tried my best to always use those abilities for good and not evil. I personally believe that we all are traumatized by this world and we all need to develop better skills, broader perspective, and greater empathy in order to lift each other up and collectively be happier.
That said, I wasn’t sure what I wanted to DO for a long time. Working long hours at an unsatisfying job has never felt like an option for me; my spirit isn’t built for that. I need my work to be meaningful. I need to feel like I am making a positive difference in the world. So the next step seemed to be getting an MSW, because who is more helpful than a social worker?
I graduated from The Brown School at Wash U here in St Louis in 2005, but then struggled to land somewhere professionally. Nothing has been linear. I’ve been a project manager, a professional singer, and a school counselor. The most recent and consistent career was a therapist for almost a decade.
I began my career framing myself as a solution-focused therapist because I always knew I wanted to get people in and out and feeling better fast; I didn’t want to keep clients forever. Partly because I get bored seeing the same people week in and week out, but mostly because most of the clients who were right for me did not need to be seen regularly. I never enjoyed working with chronic mental health issues, and my spirit can’t tolerate trauma work.
The easiest way to explain how I work is: I am catalytic in that I spark change. I don’t follow a plan; the work with each client is emergent and person-specific. I work quickly. I don’t need clients who are consistent, just ready for something else. I am not designed to be a long-term guide or hand-holder. I don’t want to fill the same 20 slots every week with the same 20 people for years on end.
I believe I am naturally designed to shake things up and challenge people (and systems) and initiate change. Then I want to set you free, have you go try the new sh*t, and come back and tell me how it went, what worked and didn’t work, and what you want to change next.
Because of this, therapy wasn’t the right “hat” for me. Transitioning to coaching, which is less focused on mental health and more focused on changing right now what isn’t working, was a natural move for me once I found the courage to leave an established, credible field and venture out.
There is a lot of confusion around “life coaching” because it’s an unregulated field. Anybody can call themselves a life coach and there are a lot of not-great ones out there, as in any field. But I have to ignore the fact that some people may not take the work seriously or think it’s credible, and trust that my track record speaks for itself. My background in mental health has given me a strong framework for doing this work in an ethical and evidence-based way.
And my work is almost all referral-based. When people have a good experience with me, they tell a friend or two. I also have a very active social media life, both personally and professionally, and I get a lot of clients from that. They watch my videos or read my blogs and think “YES YES YES I AGREE” and make an appointment because something I said resonated with them.
My first and deepest love in this work is relationship coaching. Because I have struggled to find my place in relationship, I love to help couples find better ways to communicate and understand each other. At my current age of (almost) 43, I have a very healthy marriage myself, and I want to help everyone else find the peace that I have found in my relationship. I wrote and published a book in 2021 called “Easyish: Keys To A (Relatively) Easy Relationship” which tells more of my own story and uses it to share my perspective on healthy relationships. My key concept is that every relationship has its own culture and can be “healthy” and “normal” in its own way if everyone involved is happy.
My path has twisted and turned a lot. My “back story” is rich with mistakes and false starts, both personally and professionally. But I love where I’ve ended up.
I’m sure you wouldn’t say it’s been obstacle-free, but so far would you say the journey has been fairly smooth?
Ha! Yes and No. I’d say any struggles I experienced were probably necessary growing pains. Most of the past decade has been spent figuring out what does and doesn’t work for me and adjusting my processes along the way. Part of doing this work successfully and joyfully is about attracting the right clients, which has been an ongoing process. I think right now, my website and the way I present myself, both in the real and social media worlds, are working to attract the “right” clients, and like I said, the more people I do good work with and they tell their like-minded friends, the more “right” clients I will have.
Values alignment is important to me, now more than ever. I like and respect people who are deep thinkers, deeply empathetic and care about others, and can be objective and understand their place within systems. I do not ever want to work with Republicans or cops. I never took insurance because I didn’t want clients to find my name on a list and figure a therapist is a therapist. I want clients who have intentionally chosen me and are interested in building a relationship with me because whether we meet once or 20 times, the relationship is the thing that will make the work stick or not.
I have also always struggled with money. It was hard for me to raise my rates, and I only raised them twice over eight years in private practice as a therapist. As a social worker, I felt guilty exchanging the help people needed for money. It felt wrong. I have grappled with believing I had a right to make good money or that it was an ethically sound practice to charge what I think my time is worth.
Since transitioning from therapy, I have done some growth work around this and realized that it is not wrong to be motivated by making money. Money buys me the freedom to do what I want and charging a higher hourly rate buys me more time back because I can work less. My clients now are not in distress, which helps me sit more comfortably knowing they are investing in themselves by paying me. My rates are a little higher as a coach than as a therapist, and that has made money feel like less of a struggle for me.
As you know, we’re big fans of Roots & Keys Coaching, LLC. For our readers who might not be as familiar, what can you tell them about the brand?
The office for my coaching practice is in Lafayette Square in St. Louis City, in the old Christian Science Church. It’s a storefront space with a living room vibe, many plants and art, and a bright sunny open space. If you spend much time in the Square, you’ve probably walked past it and maybe peeked in the window. (People do this a lot!)
The brand is about change and growth, hence the name “Roots & Keys.” I am most proud of how well I do many different things because consistency is not my forte nor what I deeply enjoy. I enjoy doing a little bit of a lot of things.
So here are some of the things I do:
– I primarily offer life and relationship coaching, so individual one-on-one work and marriage/pre-marital/
– I am also trained as a mediator (meeting Missouri Supreme Court requirements for civil and domestic mediation), so while I don’t practice formal mediation, I do parenting plans for divorcing couples and “divorcing well” plans. Basically, sessions built around how to not be jerks to each other during the divorce process.
– I am a certified MBTI® (Meyers-Briggs Type Indicator) administrator. I offer MBTI group training and retreats for businesses and nonprofits.
– I wrote and published a book about relationships called “Easyish: Keys To A (Relatively) Easy Relationship” that is available wherever you buy books, including Amazon and independent booksellers.
– I teach small-group classes in my office on communication, how to do conflict well, and boundaries.
– I facilitate clusters of small group mini-workshops around “hard” topics like shame, vulnerability, and intimacy.
– I facilitate/co-lead retreats and team meetings as an outside facilitator, which can be helpful for organizations who need fresh eyes on issues and problems.
– I run a monthly INFJ group (INFJ is my personality type and the type of many of my clients)
– I make short videos in my car and post them on Instagram; they are little mini-lectures @rootsandkeyscoaching
– I write an advice blog on Patreon that you can find at www.patreon.com/amymiller– you can sign up to subscribe for a small fee or read most of the posts for free.
– I do “Lunch & Learn” presentations for businesses and nonprofits around many “soft skill” topics: e.g., giving and receiving feedback, conflict resolution, healthy team communication, and personality type differences.
– I consult with businesses and nonprofits about emotionally intelligent leadership and do leadership coaching.
– I interview for, synthesize, and write narrative 360° reports for leaders. These are super fun for me, although a lot of work and quite a commitment.
– I love giving keynotes/presentations although Covid has put a damper on this lately. Past topics have included emotional intelligence, healthy relationships, communication 101, and boundaries.
– I consult with therapists considering transitioning to coaching; they can benefit from my research and experience. At my hourly rate, I inform them of best practices and things to be aware of.
– I have also been a professional singer for the past 20 years, doing cover gigs all over the area. Singing is my other great love. I have a few local gigs a month, as well as a monthly livestream on my Facebook page. My YouTube channel for music is below, too.
Where do you see things going in the next 5-10 years?
Coaching is already a booming industry, for better or worse. But in a positive trend, I see a lot of therapists leaving mental health and entering the field of coaching soon. In this past year, since transitioning to coaching, I have had a dozen or more therapists reach out to me for consultation sessions. Therapy is a highly regulated field, and many therapists decide they don’t want to jump through all the required hurdles. They want the freedom to practice across state lines, which you can’t do as a therapist. Some forms of therapy (namely, trauma work or treatment of mood or personality disorders, etc.) won’t translate, so they won’t be able to transition to coaching ethically. But anyone doing solution-focused work, skill-building work, etc., could easily slide over to coaching, make more money, and see clients anywhere in the world.
I think/hope coaching will become more regulated over the following years, requiring either a coaching certification program or a master’s degree in a mental health field. I see a lot of coaches on IG and other social media platforms dispensing problematic and even harmful advice, which is why I had such a bias against “life coaching” for so many years. I encourage consumers to be mindful and diligent about whom they receive advice from and who they pay to help them.
Pricing:
- $150/hour for 1:1 or relationship work
- $175/hour for leadership coaching/corporate or non-profit facilitation
- Classes are typically $75 for 2 hours
- Packages and specials vary in cost
Contact Info:
- Website: www.rootsandkeyscoaching.com
- Instagram: @rootsandkeyscoaching
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/rootsandkeyscoaching
- Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCm63P1gmKb1FL_QK3C2fLQQ
- Calendar: https://calendly.com/
rootsandkeyscoaching - Other: https://www.patreon.com/amymiller, https://easyishbook.com
Image Credits
Jenna Grissom/J Elizabeth Photos Michelle Evans Photography Sarajane Herrmann Photography
