Today we’d like to introduce you to Darlene Cox.
Hi Darlene, so excited to have you with us today. What can you tell us about your story?
I knew I wanted to work in the mental health field when I graduated from high school and quickly became overwhelmed by all the different roles I could take on. I got my associates in General Studies and took a year off to figure out my fate a little more clearly. I had a very dear friend that overdosed on heroin and died when we were 18. She had kids and was a beautiful soul, I never even knew she was using. My mom also struggled with mental health and various addictions throughout my lifetime so in the beginning, I had a strong passion for working with substance abuse. I worked with teenagers in active use in Franklin county and surrounding areas for several years while I worked on my Bachelor’s in Psychology at Lindenwood University. I commuted to school because my heart has always been tied to this area where I grew up. Once I finished my bachelors degree I went on to get my masters in Professional Counseling knowing I wanted to go into private practice. The pressure of working for an agency was too much with not enough support and I knew I wasn’t going to be able to sustain that pace for long. Unfortunately I, like many others, became burnt out and no longer work with people in active addiction. I am so grateful for all the things I learned while in that field however, it pushed me to learn more about trauma. There was a documentary around the time I graduated that came out that named Franklin County as the meth capital of the country. I knew it was before the documentary, I saw it all the time. The kids I went to school with smoked meth with their parents in their bathrooms or brought pills to school to sell. They stole from one another so their parents could pawn off jewelry and other valuables for quick cash. There is very little diversity out here, which is so strange because we are only a 30 minute drive from the city. The people who have moved here later in life describe feeling like they never quite feel “accepted” by the locals. To be honest, I’ve never felt accepted or a part of the community either. I try to bring a sprinkle of diversity everywhere I go. I myself am an autistic person, I am bisexual and most of my friends are neurodivergent and a part of the LGBTQ+ community. I have been accused of being “too liberal”. I just keep hanging in there and putting my best foot forward as much as I can in hopes of healing my very unique community. This page of my website goes into further depth about how my worldview has evolved and how it shapes my view of counseling the clients I work with today. https://www.dimensionaldrift.org/about-9
We all face challenges, but looking back would you describe it as a relatively smooth road?
Ha ha, I have met nothing but struggles along the way. I worked full-time at a bar to put myself through school and it took every last resource my dad and I had to get me through school. When I did agency work, I made practically no money at all and actually spent my own money on clients every single day, buying them meals or whatever other supplies they might have needed and not had access to. This is something I still carry with me today, even when I am struggling to make ends meet I have to help where I can. I think the whole country has been in a pressure cooker for the last decade. It has impacted me in several ways. When I went to school to begin my training, I knew about the amount of money I could expect to make in private practice and felt comfortable with that number. Now that number doesn’t go very far. When I graduated and started my private practice, I got hooked up with some incredible women who taught me everything I needed to know about running a business and keep ethical practices etc. However, I was also paying rent and paying for licensure supervision while also having zero clients. If you don’t know what all it takes to become a licensed counselor, check it out here because it is intense to say the least 1.) https://pr.mo.gov/boards/counselors/APPLICATIONCHECKLIST.pdfhttps://pr.mo.gov/boards/counselors/lpcslidesgeneralwebsite.pdf 2.)https://pr.mo.gov/counselors-national.asp). Once I built my caseload it has been a fight with insurance companies ever since. I am constantly going back and forth about whether or not I just need to switch to people paying for my service out of pocket and then being reimbursed from their insurance company because it has cost me well over $100,000 in lost income since opening my practice in 2018 (that is not tax deductible by the way, because even though the service was provided it is money that was never received). Eventually after two years I finished my supervision hours and was able to become fully licensed. I moved from a small office in a basement with no windows to a space above the Pacific Brew Haus that had a giant window I could put plants in. Unfortunately I was on the same floor as several alcoholics and desired to find a new space I had more control over. I signed a lease with a business partner in the beginning of 2023 who then left me high and dry 4 months later. I struggled the entire time I was in the space trying to fill it up with renters, but they didn’t pay me rent and they didn’t pay on time and it was a constant flux of people coming and going. This year, one of my best friends purchased a building in the middle of downtown Union and I am settling into this space that finally feels warm and healing and safe like I always imagined. The financial stress along with being unidentified autistic wreaked havoc on my relationship that eventually ended after many sessions with many counselors. I felt invalidated like they were telling me to heal this anxiety, stop acting like it was a part of me. Knowing now I am wired differently and need accommodations has made a world of difference. Now I hope my professional life is settled enough to keep my personal life together. Now I feel very strong and confident when treating clients and helping families and I’m grateful for my own journey because I have empathy for people in a way that someone who comes from privilege will never know. Now all I can do is hope it is enough to carry people through the crazy world we live in today and still have a sense of purpose and hope. We are the people alive today, we are the ones who have to wake up and choose hope or there will be none.
Alright, so let’s switch gears a bit and talk business. What should we know?
I am aligned with two other women, an intern who is graduating in a few short weeks with her masters in professional counseling and my friend Ashley who is a life coach. I work in a space where my dog comes to work with me and greets people who come into the waiting room. In the rest of the space there are three rooms for massage therapists, an esthetician, spray tanning and a tanning bed, as well as a salon. We have all worked together very long hours and very strenuous labor to create this beautiful space I hope will offer healing to people for decades to come. I believe in holistic wellness and it takes a village to support one another to be our best and healthiest selves. I specialize in treating anxiety disorders, autism, ADHD and trauma. I do individual sessions with adults. What sets me apart from others is my willingness to be completely authentic. I work hard for my beliefs, thoughts, feelings and behaviors to be in alignment. I want to be the whole same person in my house when I am alone, in my office when I am with other professionals, or on the sofa with my clients. I pride myself on welcoming all kinds of diversity and helping people find their particular light to shine as bright as possible. I pride myself on being a truly person centered therapist who meets all of my clients with positive regard. I’m also very proud of my dog and my plants. I want our readers to know I am full and they can be placed on a waitlist by emailing me. I also want them to know that is one of the reasons I work together with so many other people because I believe counseling is not the only means to healing. Connection is. Which is what is at the core of counseling.
What do you like best about our city? What do you like least?
I love St. Louis for its art, its history, its deeply ingrained heritage and vast cultural richness. Our food is the best (in my opinion), we create some of the best musicians, our schools of medicine are among the best. No doubt this is a place that breeds creativity and life. What I like least about our city and the surrounding areas are the small town mindsets of people who are never exposed to anyone who doesn’t look like them. The violence is also devastating for me because I know when people’s needs are met and they feel safe, those parts of us become softer. I want to create a world of acceptance, where vulnerability and authenticity is seen as the highest virtue.
Contact Info:
- Website: https://www.dimensionaldrift.org
Image Credits
Felecia Gan
