Today we’d like to introduce you to Jake Bain.
Hi Jake, we’d love for you to start by introducing yourself.
My path to becoming a foster parent was not a linear one to say the least. I have always know that I wanted to be a father for as long as I can remember. However, I never envisioned myself being a foster father. Not until I began working as a youth and family case manager in St. Louis.
As a case manager working in the behavioral health field here in St. Louis, I had the opportunity to serve many youth and families in the foster care system. During my time working with youth and families involved in foster care, I quickly began to notice the shortage there truly is across the board in terms of resources and supports for youth in the foster care system.
While I knew I couldn’t solve everything, I began to think about how I may be able to make a small impact to improve the well-being of a child in need here in my own community. I looked inward, and realized that I had all of the key elements needed to be a good foster parent, and decided that I wanted to embark on the path of becoming a foster parent myself.
When I initially began the process of becoming a foster parent, I wasn’t sure if I wanted to foster or adopt so I went ahead and completed the training for both which took me about a year to complete from start to finish. As a case manager working directly with many youth who were in the foster care system, I felt like I had a lot of insight into the needs and challenges which many foster youth face in St. Louis today. Because of this, along with the fact that I was preparing to begin graduate school to obtain my master of social work at the University of Missouri St. Louis.
I thought it would be best for me to choose the path of fostering with the idea that I would eventually become a foster parent once I became more financially stable and got out of school. My hope was that this would help me avoid becoming to attach to any of the Youth, I took in knowing that the primary goal of foster care is reunification with the biological family.
Everything I had trained for envisioned in my mind internally planned and prepared for went out the window. The moment I received the phone call that would change my life forever the day after I became officially licensed as a foster parent here in St. Louis I received a call on a Friday evening around 4:00 PM from an agency looking for an emergency placement for a little three year-old girl.
From the very limited information I was given during the phone call. I knew that the child had been in foster care and had an unfortunately bounced around multiple homes within a short period of time and was told the child be forced to stay in the office over the weekend if they did not find placement by this evening. The only other information I was given was that the child was diagnosed with autism spectrum disorder, and was currently nonverbal.
While I had over a year and a half of experience at that time working with Youth, Some of whom were on the autism spectrum, I did not have any experience caring for a youth as young as three years old, nor Youth, who were nonverbal. Despite this, something in me told me to say yes, and in a little less than two hours later in the pouring down rain on that April evening, I became a foster parent for the first time.
At first, I must admit I was terrified. The imposter syndrome took over shortly after she arrived, and I questioned whether or not I had made the right choice given my young age of a freshly 26 year old with no prior parenting history. Day by day, little by little, however, I began to feel more comfortable and confident in my ability to provide for her everything she needed to thrive.
I knew it would be an up hill battle to get her connected with all of the necessary early intervention therapies and services needed in order to give her the best chance of reaching her full potential, however I also believed that I was more qualified than most to be able to take on the challenge.
Since becoming a foster parent for the first time in April of 2025, it seems as if my life has changed in every way possible. Every step of the way has brought on new trials and tribulations which I have been forced to learn how to navigate on the fly as any good parent does. Through all of the challenges that becoming a foster parent has brought me over the last year and a half, the joy and happiness this experience has brought upon me is something that I would never change, and has made it all worth it.
Everyday, dozens of youth enter the foster care system all across Missouri and right here in St. Louis. The number of youth in foster care grows much faster than the number of foster parents, leaving youth stuck in hospital beds, residential facilities, or even worse, sleeping on an office floor, as a result.
Now, as a licensed master of social work here in St. Louis, my hope is to continuing serving marginalized and at risk youth across the St. Louis area, and advocating for other qualified adults to become foster parents themselves. Becoming a foster parent has been the greatest gift I’ve ever been given, and I would strongly encourage anyone who is able to consider becoming a foster parent.
Can you talk to us a bit about the challenges and lessons you’ve learned along the way. Looking back would you say it’s been easy or smooth in retrospect?
My journey to get where I am in my life now did not come without its challenges. For me, the biggest barriers I have had to overcome since becoming a foster parent have been:
– lack of support from friends and family
– push back from school district to provide IEP services
– lack of community supports available for foster parents
– being a single parent and also juggling a full time job and grad school as a full time student.
– negative societal views on the LGBTQ+ community.
Can you tell our readers more about what you do and what you think sets you apart from others?
I am a licensed master social worker currently working under supervision to obtain my LCSW. I am currently serving as a behavioral health therapist in a community residential behavioral health treatment facility here in St. Louis. Outside of my day job, I am also working to start a nonprofit organization founded in Ferguson to bring together LGBTQ+ residents and allies of Ferguson and the surrounding North St. Louis County area. The mission of Ferguson Pride is to empower, unify, and celebrate LGBTQ+ residents and allies of Ferguson and the greater North St. Louis County community. The ultiamte goal is to create a year non profit community organization which provides resources, year-round community events and activities, and supports local businesses that support our mission to create an environment where all members of the LGBTQ+ community feel safe, welcomed, and supported in North County. We hope to host the first ever Pride parade in Ferguson beginning in the Summer of 2027.
What sets me a part from others is that I have a genuine passion and desire to serve others. For as long as I can remember, helping others and standing up and not being afraid to speak out for what I believe in has just always seemed like the right thing to do. I am most proud of my authenticity and ability to stay true to myself throughout the many years of which I have been in the public spotlight. From the time I publicly came out during my senior year of high school at John Burroughs back in 2018 as one of the first openly queer Division 1 athletes to play college football, I have always been known for being an advocate for marginalized communities, specifically the LGBTQ+ community. I embarked on a career that alligned with my personal morals and values, and know exactly who I am meant to be, something many people my age struggle to find in this day and age.
I am most proud of my ability to stay true to myself, and my genuine desire to see my community thrive. While some people go through life looking for ways to get ahead by taking advantage of others, I am proud of the fact that I have always sought to lift others up, especially those who may need an extra hand. The majority of the people I knew from my childhood have since left St. Louis, as many folks who grew up here eventually do. I am most proud that I have dedicated my personal and professional life to the community of St. Louism, the city that has helped to shape me into who I am today, and I truly love calling St. Louis home.
If you had to, what characteristic of yours would you give the most credit to?
I believe my authenticity along with my passion for human rights and equality are the characteristics that have been most important to my success. Throughout my life, I have never shyed away from fighting for my community regardless of the consequences, and I will continue to by my most authentic self and show others that your sexual orientation does not have to limit what you can accomplish in life.
Pricing:
- Readers will soon be able to donate to Ferguson Pride once we are officially incorporated as a 501 c 3. For more info, contact us at fergusonmopride@gmail.com
Contact Info:
- Website: fergusonpride.org
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jake.bain/?hl=en
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/1009799264976446/
- LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jakebain1
- Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a2njdmIjkz4
- Other: https://www.sportsareuniversal.org/
