We’re looking forward to introducing you to Reba Rice Portwood. Check out our conversation below.
Reba, a huge thanks to you for investing the time to share your wisdom with those who are seeking it. We think it’s so important for us to share stories with our neighbors, friends and community because knowledge multiples when we share with each other. Let’s jump in: When have you felt most loved—and did you believe you deserved it?
I felt the most love when my son was alive. That love was unconditional, and if love were enough, my son would still be here.
Can you briefly introduce yourself and share what makes you or your brand unique?
I am Reba Rice-Portwood, but I have started going by Reba Rochelle, my middle name, because I love how it flows. I am the mother of a son who now lives in Heaven and the grandmother of his son, whom I have been raising since his birth.
My job title is Suicide Prevention Advocate for the Missouri Institute of Mental Health at the University of Missouri in St. Louis. My focus, although challenging, is to engage the African American faith-based community in conversations about mental health and suicide prevention.
It is interesting to me that the majority of the faith-based community is not interested in discussing Suicide Safer Homes, even though statistics show that suicide deaths in the African American community have now surpassed those of our white counterparts.
I lost my 22-year-old son to suicide. Just last week, a friend of mine lost her younger male cousin, who was 26 years old, and I recently lost my nephew to suicide. Additionally, a young lady I know lost two close friends to suicide, both in their twenties. It is past time for this conversation to be had.
Currently, I am working on promoting conversations about Suicide Safer Homes and Suicide Safer Schools. These trainings, which I facilitate, are absolutely free. We also discuss the safe storage of firearms, emphasizing that we are not anti-gun but anti-suicide.
The death of a loved one, especially a child, is extremely hard, but it has been proven that suicide death is a different kind of pain. We must come together as a community, identify the problem, and take action.
I believe that God has called me to be part of this fight. I am not excluding anyone, but I want to understand what is causing what appears to be a contagion of suicide in our community. I need the community’s help, and I need the faith-based community’s help.
My son was my only child, and he meant everything to me. He introduced me to unconditional love. He loved me just because I existed, just because I was his mother. He loved me whether we had everything we needed or not; our love for each other never wavered. The last entry in his journal read, “If it wasn’t for my mother and my grandmother, I would have done this a long time ago.”
Love alone is not enough to stop someone from dying by suicide. Love is an action word, meaning we have to do something, not just love, not just pray, but take action.
James 2:17 states, “Faith by itself, if it does not have works, is dead.”
My LLC, At L.A.S.T (Lend a Shoulder Today), sends me out for podcast interviews when invited and to various organizations to share my story and what God has commissioned me/us to do with it.
I am determined to save as many lives as God has called for me to save through Him. My LLC sometimes hosts lunches for grieving mothers because they need help to keep living as well.
Besides the 1st book I have already written and published, “Amazing Beautiful Child, an affirmation book for children, I am also working on my second book.
This is not a one-person show; we are in this together.
Towards Better Days,
Reba Rochelle
Appreciate your sharing that. Let’s talk about your life, growing up and some of topics and learnings around that. Who saw you clearly before you could see yourself?
My mother gave me her strength. Because of her, I can stand before the tallest mountain and tell it to move, and I know for certain that it would. She instilled faith and strength in me, her youngest daughter.
My late Aunt Apostle Doris Rice was the person who truly saw me and loved me. She spoke into my life and made me feel special, dispelling all the lies the enemy told me about my worth. It broke my heart when she went home to be with the Lord, but the things we talked about and the wisdom she shared helped me grow into the woman I am today.
I would be remiss if I didn’t mention my other mother, my Godmother Joyce K. Jones. She is everything to me, and I don’t think there is anyone in this world sweeter than her. She and my godfather, Terry Jones, also helped mold me into the woman I have become. I will be forever grateful to them.
Was there ever a time you almost gave up?
Yes, there was a time I wanted to give up, and that time was when my son took his last breath. It was on a Wednesday night when the doctors came into the hospital waiting room and told me there was no brain activity and that my son was brain-dead.
The next day, when some of the pain hit and I realized that I was no longer a mother in the earthly realm, I made up my mind that this was a life I was no longer willing to live. I knew that after I had done everything for my baby to make sure he was put away nicely, I would have to leave this earthly home. But that following Sunday, my son’s fiancée, who I had moved in with me immediately, took a pregnancy test, only to discover she was pregnant.
I knew I had to hang around until the baby was born, have DNA done, and if the baby wasn’t my son’s, I still planned on dying. My main reason for living was no longer with me. But, as the good Lord would have it, the DNA read 99.998% in favor of being my son’s baby. For that baby, for my baby, I knew I had to keep living. This meant to me that God had work for me to do, and He had to give me a reason to stick around so that I could get it done.
Next, maybe we can discuss some of your foundational philosophies and views? What would your closest friends say really matters to you?
Loyalty, period!
Okay, we’ve made it essentially to the end. One last question before you go. Have you ever gotten what you wanted, and found it did not satisfy you?
YES, my ex-husband and that’s all ima say about that.
Contact Info:
- Instagram: [email protected]
- Linkedin: Reba Rice-Portwood, M.Ed., LPC in Missouri and Illinois
- Twitter: [email protected]
- Facebook: Reba Rice-Portwood
- Youtube: Reba Rice-Portwood
- Soundcloud: [email protected]
Image Credits
They were personal and I have sent the pictures already.
